Two weeks and two days until packers come… We have to say goodbye until Christmas-ish to our oldest son tomorrow. In 6 weeks we say goodbye-til-Christmas to our daughter. He’s going to be living up in the Chicago area from now on, and she’s going to be still living in SC but in the upstate…without parents. (Pray for them).
50+ days and counting until we fly overseas.
Stomach has been tied up in knots for days.
What I wanted and desired is coming to fruition. We are moving back to Europe.
Why am I so nervous? Why am I just a ball of anxiety? I don’t remember that from last time we moved there. Maybe it was because I had four kids under the age of 8 and one of those was a 10 month old.
I feel like I have more time to think now. More time to think about the hard stuff that was a part of living there the last time. I really need to try to live in the present. To not think about all the things that could go wrong. I try to help myself by not getting excited because I don’t want my expectations to not be met. But that is not helpful. This is good. This is a good thing. God is bringing this about.
But I’m trying. Trying to preemptively pray for my two kids that are coming with us. Pray that they will make friends. Godly friends. Life-long friends.
And I am praying for my friendships too. Praying that I make them quickly. I don’t want to wait until we’re almost leaving to make friends. I pray that I make “a bosom friend.” A Diana to my Anne with an E.
For introverts like me, the hardest part about moving often, is the making friends part. The good thing with moving overseas is the a fact that our friend group will, most likely, be in a similar situation, overseas away from America. They will understand the moving part. They will see and know exactly what you are talking about when you tell stories.
The hardest part about living in America is the fact that most non-military people don’t understand your transient life. They don’t understand the purging every 2-4 years. The goodbyes. It’s harder to make friends in the civilian world because you’re constantly trying to break into social circles that have been around for years and years. And, to be honest, it often feels like others don’t want you joining their circle so why bother.
But I want to look forward. I want to look forward to meeting to new people. I want to look forward to travelling. (THANK YOU LORD, for the world slowly opening up again!) I want to be amazed that if we live in Europe for the next three years we will have lived a third of our married life there. That is crazy.
I am so incredibly thankful to once again be allowed to experience another culture. It’s not going to be easy and there will be days when the red-tape that we have to jump through is enough to pull our hair out. But still so thankful. Living overseas soon to be three times in our marriage has changed the way we look at the world and changed the way we look at others as well.
In the meantime, if you think about all of us transient folks, say a prayer for us as we are tired and stressed. We are ready to begin another season of life but along with that are the anxieties associated with having to start over…yet again.
May I remember the privilege and joy in this adventure. I hope you come along and join me as I mark how it’s going. I do not know what the Lord has in store for us there, but I know that He is walking with us and because of that “All Will Be Well.”