Hanging on

A week ago my friend had a mastectomy. It has hit me hard. She received the official “chemo vs radiation” choice today. It’s both.

She walked beside through our son’s cancer by having gone through pediatric cancer with her own son. Her son had cancer when he was born. She had been there. She sat with us and wrote down what the doctor said, while Douglas and I sat and listened, but only barely. She wrote so that we could go back and read later.

She has the most amazing curly red hair. Why is it that hair is so important? It’s just hair. But Chemo takes that which we deem so beautiful. It took my son’s red hair too.

Because of one man, sin and suffering and sickness entered the world. (Romans 5:12)

Because of Adam’s Sin, we suffer. In Lent, we remember Christ’s suffering in the desert. This Lenten season, I recognize this suffering so clearly. I’m tired of it. It hurts.

For he who knew no sin became sin for us, for our sake. (2 Corinthians 5:21)

For He took on the form of a servant. (Philippians 2:7)

He became obedient to death, even death on a cross (Philippians 2:8)

In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead. (1 Peter 1:3)

We must hang on to hope. Though some days it is hard, so hard.

A few weeks ago, one of my favorite blogs/web pages/authors/singers etc released their Lenten Spotify playlist. In this playlist is a song by Jill DeZwaan called “Enough”. In these days, we hear words like, “you are enough” written especially to us tired moms who are are doing all we can to do it all. Though well-meaning, I believe that those words are not reality. We are not enough, we can never be enough or ever be perfect. Life is too hard. Sin is preventing perfection. The suffering of those who have cancer shows you this truth, let alone all of the other calamities that affect us. We cannot be enough because we are filled with sin from birth. But even when I struggle to grasp the why friends and family suffer with cancer or any other hard aspect of life, I have to hold on tightly to the hope that Jesus is enough. He is enough, for He is our hope.

Take Heart He has overcome the world. (John 16:33).

Enough (You can click the title to hear it)

When I can’t see why and my heart would break from the asking
When the daily fracturing would steal the song peace bring.
How do I believe?

There is change more important than comfort
Life worth living in a life surrendered
And love that is the reason for it all

You are enough, enough.
Suffering will come
Your will be done.

Tightly wound turned loose each day
Each soul that breathes fighting for its way
Hurting and harassed we play
You help me begin to understand
To see the blade in the Surgeons hand
Make me brave to endure, brave to endure

You are enough, enough
Suffering will come
Your will be done

On Earth as in heaven
I am not yet home
My hope is in your love

You are enough
You said in this world you will have trouble
Fear Not, I have overcome the world

In this world you will have trouble
Fear Not, I have overcome the world

In this world you will have trouble
Fear Not, I have overcome the world

In this world you will have trouble
Fear Not, I have overcome the world

You are enough, enough
Suffering will come
Your will be done
On Earth as in heaven
I am not yet home
My hope is in your love
You are enough.

We cannot hold on to anything else for all is temporal, but He is everlasting.